The Good Napkins
My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake).
One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet doors was
ajar. I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was
keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not
wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that those were for
"special occasions" (her second mistake).
Now fast forward a few months.... It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks were
leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner... Mom had assignments
for all of us while they were gone. Mine was to set the table. When they
returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next
came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who
roared with laughter. Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked in the tails so they didn't hang off the edge!!
My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the
other adults into further fits of laughter. "But, Mom, you SAID they were
for special occasions!!!"