The Dim Sum Diaries: OMFG

Friday, December 08, 2006

OMFG

Written by Mir :: :: ::

Now that I have inhabited this plane of existence for 34.5 years, my tastes in certain things have changed. For example, I wear my hair longer then I used to (I used to be a short hair fanatic). The same can be said for literature, I enjoy fiction (Nicole Krauss' History of Love is a good example). Not so much on the romance genre, sad to say. Except for my all time fave authors like Lisa Kleypas, I'm not so big on impulse buy for romances anymore. So imagine my SHOCK AND HORROR when I got this email from amazon.com...

Dear amazon.com customer...perhaps you might enjoy this book!!!

Pregnancy? Of Passion? Dear God.

The book blurb must be read with a fake, BAD italian or spanish accent otherwise you won't do it justice:

It was a year since their tempestuous affair had ended. So why was he back? Elisa trusted Salvatore di Vitale as far as she could throw him. And, as the wealthy Sicilian was over six feet tall, that wasn't very far.

Salvatore told Elisa he had come to protect her. And if their close proximity led to passion…and if passion should lead to pregnancy, all the better! Because then Elisa would have to marry him, which was Salvatore's plan all along.

Holy crap its Tom Cruise!

I rather think Heather Armstrong (Dooce) summed the pregnancy process best:

And I agree, “Yes. There is nothing you could do to me, except maybe infect me with your sperm, and then there were those 13 weeks of unending nausea, and then the swelling and the inability to hold my pee for more than three minutes. Oh, and then the hours and hours of labor with contractions 10 seconds apart, and the head of the baby RIPPING APART MY VAGINA, and then the stitches, and then the constipation and RIPPING APART OF THE STITCHES, and then the six weeks of bleeding, and then the cracked nipples, oh and those bladder infections from the catheter. Did I mention the clogged milk ducts in my breasts?”

Yeah amazon.com...I don't think I'll be buying this book anytime soon...thank you very much.

Labels: romance

OMFG

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