The Dim Sum Diaries: Eh Again?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Eh Again?

Written by Mir :: :: ::

Just read a blog entry from Polly regarding mother/daughter relations, detailing the angst that one feels in the conflict between the notion of duty and love of parent that must surely be tattooed on every bi-cultural Asian's butt and trying to establish oneself as an adult in the world.

My relationship with my parents now is amiable and affectionate, probably the closest as we will ever be. I look at them sometimes and it's hard to believe that at one point, the only way my dad and I communicated was by yelling at each other. My mom---it only took a look from her, which somehow implied that I had come up short yet again in some way. And the guilt, an emotion I know well. :)

When I was pregnant with child #1, it was around the time Mulan came out. I cried every time she sang that Reflection song. And every time I watched that scene when Mulan's dad has that hugging scene in the end with her...I would sob uncontrollably.

"I want to be like that too," I would tell Hubby. He would just pat my shoulder (it was a very emotional time).

That being said, I've found that parental-child relations do ease as you get get older. Especially if you give them grandkids. They'll fuss and coo with the baby...spoil them rotten...hey, they never did that with me!

"Because they're not our responsibility," my Mom told me. "So we're more relaxed about them. Now you understand about being a parent, maybe you'll understand a little more about us and where we're coming from."

Yeah, Mom.

Eh Again?

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