Man, I need to clone myself. Because I have to be at work at 5:30 am, Lo-Gung drops the kids off at their respective schools. Which means that unless I make the effort to keep myself informed regarding school related activities, I am totally out of the loop. Quizzing Lo-Gung or FIL (father-in-law) about school is no good either. You can interchange those two MALES...and get the exact same response/amount of information.

Me: So how is Son's school going?

[subtext - What I Really Mean]: Give me the info, the inside scoop about everything. Tell me that Parent-Teacher conference signups are not out yet but will be by Wednesday so I can get a good slot. Also tell me that the Science Fair is coming up and we need to sign up for something and get it in by next week. And that you need to pick up an information sheet about what the acceptable format for the science project is.

Lo-Gung or FIL: Good.

[subtext - What They Really Mean]: Yup, its good.

So I guess I'll have to make a habit of showing up to the kids' school at least 1x a week. -_-

So then when I do show up to the school today, I am informed I have to "pick" a science experiemnt. I leaf through a folder full of experiments.

"Oh, this sounds good," Janice, the preschool director tells me. "Why don't you do this one?"

Simple Machines - Screw. You need a wood peg, a golf tee, a nail and a slab of styrofoam. 1) Try pushing the wood peg into the styrofoam. 2) Now try pushing the golf tee into the foam. 3) Push the nails into the foam. What do you observe?

I stare blankly at the instructions. I'm not sure what I would observe, besides the obvious. Noticing my lack of comprehension, Janice goes on to read the conclusion helpfully provided on the bottom for dorks like me.

A wedge has one wide end and a sharp pointed end. It is used to split or seperate things. The nails and golf tees are wedges. They go into the styrofoam more easily then the peg.

Many things race through my mind at that point. A wedge? Isn't that like a wedge of cheese? And a peg is like a pirate's peg leg...I'm pretty sure in a contest a pirate's peg leg would kick the wedge of cheese's ass in a styrofoam stabbing contest any day...but then I realize that sounds lame...so I merely nod and say, "Good."

About half an hour a few minutes later, the light of comprehension finally dawns on me...oh...a nail is a wedge because of the shape of its tip...okay...I get it now...