I have this little voice in my head that sounds like Sharon Osbourne (I already know someone is going to make a smart ass comment about this). Over the past few years it has grown from a soft murmur to a louder, Gollum-esque whisper.

"Yo ass ain't getting any younger," It says. "Why don't you sit yo ass down in front of the computer and write a manuscript?"

"I know that! I want to! But I have a full-time job and a family to juggle! And I have to fight for computer time because Hubby plays Eve all night!" I protest.

"Buy a laptop. Hubby already said he'll pay for half," It sneers back.

"So even if I buy the laptop, I'm unsure of the genre I want to pursue," I ponder.

"Why don't you explore the possibilities until you find a vehicle you feel comfortable with," It argues.

Explore the possibilities…Version #1

Dream-like sequence begins with harp music playing in the background

How about I write a Regency/Pirate/Adventure/Romance? Perhaps a typical scene would go like this:

"I know who you are!" she said contemptuously. She drew out her rapier and aimed it at his sexy throat." You are the Dread Pirate Farbio, Plunderer of the Seven Seas! You killed my father! Now prepare to die!"

"No, my dear Caroline," Alec, the Dread Pirate Farbio, also the Fifth Viscount of Hambersly, replied silkily. "It was the evil One-Eyed-Gimpy Pirate, aka Satan's Toenail! He killed your father! I, however, helped you conquer his ship. So you see, I'm not the bad guy."

"Really?" Caroline asked dubiously. She lowered her rapier as she considered his words.

"Really really," Farbio said smugly. "And now, my dear, we should engage in wild monkey sex for several chapters. You will, of course, immediately fall in love with me. I, however, being a male, will act like an ass at least until near the end of the book. Then I will cease to confuse lust with love. I will realize I am in love with you. Then I will act jealous, tell you I love you, throw you over my shoulder and sail off into the sunset. And then we shall marry, produce many babies and live happily ever after."

"I don't know…" Caroline hesitated.

"Perhaps you will change your mind when you cast your eyes on this!" Farbio challenged. He threw his robe open dramatically.

"Behold my pulsating man-root of love! My purple-helmeted-love-warrior!" he declared. Caroline gasped.

"But it's so…small," she ventured.

"It's not small!" Farbio snapped defensively. "The room is cold! You have to take into account the shrinkage!"

###

Hmm…I don't know if I'm comfortable writing about the English and the Regency era, which is one of the most popular genres in romance now. I'd like to write a story more true to my roots, but I don't think Regency era China will ever catch on. We'll have to see…