Dim Sum Diaries

Why You Should Never Draw Anime Figures In Psych Class...

A Typical Day at University, Back In The Day

One day in class, Vince (the professor, head of the Anthropology Department and my mentor) instructed us to draw a picture of ourselves.

I thought nothing of the request at the time. Since I was into Macross (a Japanese animated series), I sketched a head and shoulder self-portrait (a la anime) and turned it in. I thought I had done a rather decent job of it.

A couple of weeks later, we were in class and Vince pulled out everyone's drawings.

"I have analyzed these drawings. I also had the school psychologist look them over. We drew some interesting conclusions about you people," he declared ominously.

Everyone shifted uncomfortably in their chairs. When Vince pulled my drawing from the pile, he shifted his gaze over to me.

"Mir, Mir, Mir..." He paused dramatically.

"Vince, I just want you to know that the way I drew the picture is how the Japanese draw people...and..." I began.

"Shhh!" He cut me off abruptly. "Let's see, the fact that your head takes up the entire page and your rather large eyes gaze straight ahead indicates that your intelligence is important to you," he stated.

I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out.

"The small mouth you drew indicates sexual repression. The simple line drawn for the nose centerconfirms this. The smaller the nose, the more sexually repressed you are," he commented.

"But...but...that's how the Japanese draw..." I sputtered.

He continued talking as if he hadn't heard me. "You outlined your hair and then filled it in with short, abrupt strokes. Your keeping within the lines indicates that you observe the limits of propriety, but there is some restlessness in you wanting to break out."

I was speechless. To have my personality analyzed in public like that was embarrassing. But then again, Vince did the same forthright analysis on everyone else in class (some were even more embarrassed then I was).

"By the way, why are your bangs all spiky and sticking up in different directions? You wouldn't be able to achieve that hairstyle in real life you know. Unless gravity ceased to exist," he added as an afterthought.

"Uh, thanks Vince," I managed.