Dim Sum Diaries
I'm trying to dredge up the fortitude to sit down and write the next to final chapter of the DC saga, but I keep getting distracted by work and day-to-day stuff. As I am slightly depressed, I decided to relate something cheerful for a change. This is about my Auntie G, who lives near San Francisco. I've always admired her because she is such a free spirit and an adventurer. And she loves to lecture me.

Back in the Day (1994):

Auntie G: We should all go hiking sometime.
Me (thinking it is a stroll through Golden Gate Park): Oh yeah, dig it baby!
AG (warming up to the subject): You'll have to take a couple of days off. We each carry a giant backpack on our backs and it weighs like 50 lbs. We only eat what we can carry. And we hike twelve miles a day over rough terrain. It'll be fun! Out of all the nieces and nephews, you always struck me as the most adventurous.
J (my boyfriend): *rolls eyes because he knows the truth*
Me (enthusiasm for hike rapidly dwindling): Oh, that sounds...lovely...uh...so where do you go to the bathroom?
AG: You dig a hole.
Me: Doh.

2002 (J, now my hubbo and I are visiting Auntie G in S.F. We have just finished breakfast):

AG: You know your cousin R just went on a hike with us.
Me: Oh yeah?
AG: Yeah we hiked to the top of Half Dome (a 17 mile hike up a mountain that rises 4800 ft from the valley floor) and he loved it. He didn't even complain once! And there was this group of Marines hiking too. They were all 18 and probably in boot camp. Some of them were having a hard time making it up top and complaining. And then I, an old woman in my late '40's, hiked right past them. Well they took it as an insult that I could beat them, so they tried to climb up faster. Some of them actually beat me too. (AG looks smug).
Me (sprawled out on the couch after breakfast and about to take a snooze): That's wonderful, Auntie G.
AG: You never did go hiking with me, did you.
Me: Nope. I finally admitted to myself that I am a lazy ass.
J: Yes you are.