Dim Sum Diaries
Silly Sammy blogs about eating crabs (Chinese style) today.

Not only does it make me hungry for some good Chinese food, it reminds me of a story about my grandmother.

NOTE: ITALICS = SPOKEN IN CANTONESE

I was about 11 or so, my Pou Pou (maternal grandmother) was staying at our house and she was cooking dinner. Having gone to the Chinese market that day (refer to above picture of Chinese market seafood display to illustrate this story), she had purchased two live crabs. They were still moving around in the sink when she slipped them out of the wrapping paper.

"You have to watch me carefully, Bowl, so you will learn to cook Chinese food like me when you grow up," she told me. Actually, she always called me (and still does), Ah-Woon, which is her nickname for me based on my Chinese name. Phonetically, it sounds like "bowl", so that's what I always imagined she meant to call me. :p

Curious as to how she would process the crabs to the delicious steamed appendages I would come to love and eat, I watched with some horror as she took a chopstick and PROCEEDED TO STICK THE CHOPSTICK UP THE CRAB'S ASS.

I gasped in horror. "That's how you kill them???" I asked her.

"Yep."

So that was a somewhat traumatic, though in the end, delicious experience.

Now that I think of it, my Pou Pou also has interesting names for the white barbarians who have married into our family. One is Deep Throat. He's been married to my Aunt for well nigh 18 years now and has picked up enough Cantonese to speak decent Chinglish. And when he does, it pleases my Pou Pou to no end. Since she speaks only a little English, when she calls the white barbarians by name, she can't say their English names properly so she improvises.

"Obedient Rice," she tells him when he says something clever and witty in Chinglish. "Gwai Ah-Mai"

The other is my Hubby. When Hubby does something manly, like lift heavy packages for her or something, she'll respond with, "Obedient Gravy." "Gwai Ah-Jup"